FAIL!

I know I've never brought up politics with you, my 3 readers, but today is an exception. In case you haven't heard, Illinois' very own Rod "Governor Smith" Bagojevich got in a little bit of trouble yesterday. I'll spare you all the details since you all know the story, and instead I'll ask this one question of the Governor:

Are you fucking stupid?

After growing up here and living my entire life in this state, I'm quite familiar with "Chicago Politics" which is apparently our own special way of doing things. Honestly, I thought that is how all government works. I learned about this with several discussions with my parents and from the greatest teacher ever, Mr. Harry Daley. He was an avid Chicago historian (more on him later). It was a constant problem, but something you eventually got used to; much like rats in the city. They are everywhere, you're disgusted by them, but until one is sniffing your feat you ignore them. The reason for this? Well, we always felt that as long as things are getting done, we were willing to look the other way.

But as with all things, there are limits. In this case, there was such total disregard for the law and such brazen arrogance that these limits are deemed completely irrelevant. Even when Gov. Blagojevich knew that he was under investigation, he still managed to act as if he were immune to any consequences. I think I speak for everyone when I say it is this attitude that upsets me more than the actual corruption. Did he want to get caught? Did he really think as the Governor of Illinois that he would be able to wield enough power to wipe everything under the rug?

To kind of put things in perspective, I'm going to provide a little anectdote for you. When I was younger, I was not exactly the little angel that many thought I was. Most of the time I was pretty good, but every now and then I had this propensity to find some trouble. Well, when I did manage to find trouble, my father was so kind as to help a wooden spoon find its way to my posterior. (The pain from that spoon is not one I'll soon forget. I still shutter when I hear those doors under the sink open and close. ) The only good thing that from these beatings is after that moment that I would never repeat that mistake to put me in that position. Or at the bare minimum I would make sure I did not get caught. And if I didn't get caught, I certainly would not call people and tell them about it while my dad was in the room.

Many people I know can testify that I am not super bright. So if I can figure out this little don't do it again lesson, it's got to take someone who either: 1) has such low mental function they should be wearing a helmet, or 2) doesn't care anyway. Either way, they shouldn't have been running for public office, let alone getting voted into public office. But hey, as we've found out, in Illinois the right price can get you a lot of things.

Turkeypalooza - Totaly Awesome

I just wanted to take this chance to thank everyone who made it to Turkeypalooza IV: No FU(#!NG Around. As those of you who came can testify, it was totally boss as we managed to deep fry everything AND watch the Illini win another game. We had are usual suspects from Turkeypalooza past, as well as many new faces. We gladly accept our new Turkeypalooza family with open arms and clogged arteries.

But this party would not have been possible without a few very important people.

Drew was the host of this years party, and he did an absolutely gracious thing by letting tons of people come over and trash his place. Anyone who has thrown a party knows of the amount of effort required to get everything ready and open up your home to tons of people you may or may not know very well. Drew's place has become the ultimate party home. For those who have heard me say "Hey, we ordered the Sunday Ticket package for NFL games at my buddy's place, come on by" that is Drew's place. We effectively turned his house into Sunday Funday headquarters. So on top of him playing host every Sunday of the football season, he was super excited to host Turkeypalooza; an ordeal bigger than the Super Bowl. Not only did he host it, he also cleaned up everything before the rest of us had a chance to even contribute. The biggest party of the year would not have been possible without you. High Fives.

Secondly, there was my numero uno Jackie. You see, a turkey fryer (also known as 4 gallons of boiling peanut oil over an open flame tied to a propane tank) requires non stop attention. And at a party thrown by 4 drunk dudes with a fryer as the focus point, you can't really expect too much. To have a successful culinary party, you need to set up the table in both a logical and aesthetically pleasing fashion. Such a daunting task requires a true hostess' touch. Jackie is that amazing hostess. People would not have been able to eat without you. High Fives.

Lastly, I must thank my good friend Pabst Blue Ribbon. As always, you were cool, clean, refreshing, and your intoxicating deliciousness made everything so great. I would not have had a terrible headache the next day without you. High Fives.

So there you go. But more importantly, now we enter the other season in my two season life - Talladega. April 26th you cannot come fast enough.

Turkeypalooza IV

Drew and I needed to go grocery shopping after work for the world's greatest party: Turkeypalooza IV: No Fu(#!ng Around. To give you an idea of how awesome this party really is, here is what we acquired this evening:

44 lbs of Turkey
4 bags of stuffing
10 lbs of potatoes
1 box of bisquick
4 tubes of crescent rolls
4 packages of lil smokies
64 rolls
420 napkins
2 jars of pickles
12 egg

And that is just the first grocery run.

Now, for those of you who don't know, it's time I sit you down and tell you the story of Turkeypalooza. It all started many years ago in a land far, far away: Champaign. It was the last game of the football season, and Illinois was playing Northwestern on Thanksgiving Day in 2001 with a Big Ten Title on the line. As members of the Marching Illini, us beloved bandos were required to be in town for the game (and for those who know me, I would have been there anyway). Well, several of us got this great idea that we should cook dinner for our parents at the beloved 1004 W. Nevada, also known as the Trombone House. We acquired groceries, a turkey, and did all the things that our mothers and grandmothers had always done for Thanksgiving dinner.

I'll never forget Tedd, Jon Hakes, Susan, and myself working on things in the kitchen with our respective mothers standing in the doorway watching. They were all commenting to each other on our techniques and recipes, and how they wouldn't be caught dead doing it the way we were. I've never seen 5 mothers standing so desperate to get into a kitchen in my life. Remember, we're still in college so macaroni and cheese and cereal are pretty much the limits of our culinary ability, so their critiquing glares weren't exactly helping our already shaky nerves. Fortunately for us and our intestinal tracts, the dinner turned out to be a smashing success and everything went off smoothly.

So Tedd and I started thinking to ourselves - why don't we do this for our friends? And get loaded. And deep fry the turkey. Well, turn the clock forward to 2004 when we finally got the down to business and had Turkeypalooza I. No catchy title was necessary because we had a deep fryer and a keg. We had everything ready, except a plan. We started drinking at 10 am, and when everyone showed up at 3, we realized the only thing we managed to accomplish was get loaded. We were saved by some ladies who knew their way around the kitchen better than we did (not much had changed since college). But, most importantly, it was good. Really really good. So good, we needed another one: Turkeypalooza II: The Revenge. And then Turkeypalooza III: This Time We're Serious.

Which brings us to where we are today. It's Saturday, and it's going to be totally kick ass. No Fu(#!ng Around.

Thanksgiving Savings

Thanksgiving is about two things: Turkey and getting a head start on the holiday shopping season.

Am I the only one that things this is kind of a strange thing? It's a little disappointing to me that our society has become so commercialized that Thanksgiving is looked at as a jump on holiday shopping almost equally, if not more so, than the actually celebration of the holiday. Personally, I try to avoid the Black Friday sales as much as possible. Not because I don't like savings, but because the crowds are just too much. I've been able to get up at 4 am for a select number of things, and saving an additional 5% on gifts for people is not really one of them. Besides, I think the retailers are so desperate to have my money that they will be offering such deals almost all the way through the season.

Post for the sake of Posting

I'm forcing myself to get to this more on a weekly basis, so I'm taking this opportunity to share a few things with you, my many adoring and sexy fans:

1) This past Sunday at the Bears game was totally kickass.
2) We're getting a keg for tOSU this weekend. The Illibuck is ours to stay!
3) I love video games again.
4) JW and I just made some AMAZING chili. Bring it, Tedd. Your chili ain't got nothin!

Thank you, and good night.

Circuit City Not as Shitty as Previously Thought

For those of you have not been following the news or are just very immune to bad news, we're in a bit of a financial crisis right now. As a result, we're seeing many retailers struggling because no one has money to spend. One such casualty has been Circuit City; the Billy Baldwin to Best Buy's Alec. For our fellow Chicagoland readers, the Circuit City on North Ave. is one such store. To the frugal consumer, store closings mean SUPER SAVINGS!!!! I took advantage of this to acquire some new toys for the PS3, including the much heralded Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid. ( I had been very adamant against acquiring either because of the following unbeaten games currently owned: Super Mario Galaxy, Zelda: Twilight Princess, Call of Duty 3 (Wii), Assassin's Creed, and unlocking all of the characters from Mario Kart Wii and Super Smash Bros Brawl. So I'm a lazy gamer, sue me.) Both games were 10% off, and Metal Gear was even more reduced. Jackpot Where am I going with this..... oh yeah.


After playing for just over 2 hours, Grand Theft Auto IV is the best fucking video game ever. THE END.

Obamarama

In case you've been living under a rock for the last 2 days, the Barack Obama won the election on Tuesday and is going to be the next President of the United States of America. There are a myriad of reasons why this means so much to so many people, but that is exactly why I think he will succeed as our President. The one serious thing that we have been lacking in our lives is the kind of leader who gets people excited in a positive way as opposed to a naming a sewerage treatment plant after you kind of way. The kind of leader who makes you want to go out and make a difference and get involved as a community organizer. The kind of leader who will, hopefully, get people to work together towards accomplishing goals. We are enduring very tough times right now, and there is no way we can expect to get through this with a red state/blue state point of view. Fortunately, I think we brought in just the right guy to bring us together and get us out of this turmoil.

This kind of enthusiasm was very evident on Tuesday night in Grant Park. For those of you who were there, you know what I'm talking about. Just the energy in the crowd and the excitement of what is to come could be felt everywhere from the smiles to hugs and high fives spreading throughout the masses. Sure, nothing has really changed yet, but I think we've made a good move in the right direction. Because before things can get better, you have to believe that they are going to get better. And that, my friends, is what hope is all about.

Saturday TW

So, in case you haven't noticed, I kind of have this thing for Illinois sports and Champaign. So come football season, I accumulate quite a few frequent traveler miles along I-57 to Champaign and back to Chicago. Today was a road game, (and no one would go with me), so I got to spend the weekend at home. I woke up early, got my car washed, went to the bank, went to the cleaners, bought a halloween costume, and managed to watch the Illinois game all by 4. Since the previous 18 weeks had been consumed by marathon training and weddings, this whole free time thing is relatively new to me. I was actually so bored at one point today I thought about going into work. I'll repeat that - I was so bored going to the office was a viable option for entertainment.

The me of 2 years ago would find this totally unacceptable. The me of 2 years ago lived in a nonstop action packed world guided by the mantra of if you weren't workin, you're playin. What' s happened in this period? I blame the economy and credit crisis. I'm just too bummed out to enjoy myself.

I wonder if the economy of 2 years ago is also disappointed with its current day self.

Feel the Heat Rays!

I'm the world's biggest Tampa Bay Ray fan. Well, probably not, as I've only just jumped on the bandwagon, but I'm sure I'm not that far off from being the biggest Rays fan. How can you not be? They are the true American Underdog - horseshit one year, belle of the ball the next year. What's there not to love? Not one damn thing, that's what.

Hip Hip Hoo Rays!!!!!!!!!!

Stop Signs

What exactly happens in a persons head between reading "Rules of the Road" and the moment that they get to a stop sign? I drive through several on my secret back road way to work, and every time I encounter people who fail to grasp the concept of how these sophisticated means of traffic control work. So here are a few simple reminders for some of you out there in Drive Batshit Crazyland:

1) First come: first served.
2) Like everything else in life, you move clockwise around the intersection to get to your turn.
3) As an extension and clarification of #1 and #2, if two people arrive at the same time, the person on the right goes first.
4) Just because you're on a major road does not mean you have priority over the side street. So at any of those 4-way stops, everyone is subject to the sign equally.
5) Just because you're in a hurry doesn't mean you don't have to wait your turn.
6) If you're riding a bike, get bent because I hate you.

See? Now everyone is better off. You're welcome.

Run Dumpy Run!

On Sunday, October 12th I ran and completed my first marathon.

Wow.

Anyone who has known me for any degree of time can tell you I'm not much of a runner. Well, the could tell you that I used to not be much of a runner. But then 3 years ago all of that changed when my sister ran her first marathon. As anyone with younger siblings can attest, one thing you absolutely cannot do is let your younger do something of that caliber and let her take all the glory. So after two attempts at training thwarted by injuries, I was determined that my time had come and I decided that 2008 would be the year I would run it. I needed a taste of big time running in Chicago, so I ran the Shamrock Shuffle in March, which at 8K was the farthest I have ever run consecutively in my entire life. This race was very important because it proved two things to me: 1) Crowds on the side of the street cheering you on definitely makes running more awesome than I ever imagined, and 2) I was severely out of shape.

The official beginning of training for the marathon began in the 2nd week of June and would continue for 18 weeks until October 12th. Training consisted of running 3 days during the week and then a long run on Saturday's. Once I got into a groove and adapted to the schedule, I actually started to crave running. Scheduled days off were filled with eagerness to lace 'em up and get back out there and run. I think part of this was the excitement of what I was training for, and the other part was it allowed me to see more of Chicago than my normal routine allows.


Well, on the 12th all of that training finally came to some good use as it was really, really warm out that day. Not the record heat that we had in 2007, but 83 degrees is not ideal weather for running outside for 26 miles. The experience of running was nothing short of amazing - seeing so many people and what a spectacle the race is for the entire city made the experience that much more rewarding. But the best part of it all definitely had to be coming down that final stretch on Michigan Ave, hitting the turn on Roosevelt up over the bridge and seeing that crowd cheering everyone on to the finish. Once you see that sign saying 1 mile to go all of the pain and tiredness just disappears and your powered by an absolutely amazing rush. The feeling you get when you finally cross that finish line is one of the greatest senses of accomplishment you can have, and its something I'll never forget. That and the Mexican feast my friends prepared for me to eat after the race. Tamales inside of burritos - innovative AND delicious.


Special marathon thanks to Dad and my sister for walking around to cheer me on, Maggie for cooking the aforementioned Mexican feast, and Jessie B. for running the last 5 miles with me. You guys rock.

An Evening of Enigmatic Enchantment

I saw Sigur Ros last night, and it was amazing. I'll post more on that later. I was just too excited not to say anything about it in the meantime.

FORE!

Many people do not play the game of golf, and there is very good reason for that. It's easily, in my opinion, the hardest sport to perform well. Now, that isn't saying you can't have fun unless you're Tiger Woods, but no one likes to take one something with the intent of failing. This is, after all, a sport, the most noble of competitions.

I am a fan of the game, but I am more excite about spending 5 hours outside drinking beer with friends than about the golf. The reason is very simple: I am not a very good golfer. You'd think that someone who caddied for 10 years and got his current position of employment from someone whom he used to caddy for that I'd at least be decent. But I'm not. I blame the equipment, good golfers blame my bad swing and excitable nature out there.

Tomorrow I'm taking the day off to play in a charity golf event. I'm pretty excited at the prospect of spending a Monday in a golf car rather than behind my computer at work. I like to think of it as an intense course (no pun intended) in Executive Management and Boozing. Hopefully the pressure to not get too frustrated will help with my game. Either way, it's still a great way to start off the week.

CHAMPAIGN

I'm super excited for the road trip this weekend. So excited, I drew this little picture at work. I think it really captures the essence of my feelings.

Super Champaign Happy Awesome Time

This past weekend marked a tremendously awesome occassion: home opener for the University of Illinois Fighting Illini. I know many more people get excited for the Sunday games, but having attended a Big 1T1en school, there is something about the college game that gets me more excited.

My personal attachment came from being a member of the Marching Illini for 4 years. This was, without a doubt, the best way to see a game. Sure, there were lots of things I didn't care for (namely people I didn't care for), but this is probably the only consistent stretch in my life waking up at 6 am for a rehearsal was not only easy, but I looked forward to it. The days were long, and when the team was less than great they weren't always as exciting, but they were great all the same. I think thats because everyone in the entire organization had one consistent goal: beer. Seriously, those who have ever heard me talk about college would tell you I swore that a Marching Illini party was the best show in town on Saturdays, and its true. What was great about them is that almost everyone came to the parties, and everyone always had a great time.

It's hard to imagine that you can be truly close to a group of 300+ people, but I was always amazed at the sense of camaraderie that was enjoyed by most people. And it shows - to this day you will see a large contingency of people marching with the band to their postgame show at the Ed building, and I'd say at least half are fossils (what you become when you leave the band and enter the hell of the real world). Most of us still go down to games, and I can easily say that some of my best friends were made in those first few days of band camp. Yes, it exists, and yes, it's totally awesome.

The point of this? Nothing, other than its another reason why college is awesome and why I love going back to Champaign.

GO ILLINI!

Whoopty Bam

Honestly, it's been far too long since my last post. I could argue that it's been because of this and that, but honestly it's primarily a ridiculously hectic schedule and not wanting to use what little free time I had to try to come up with something clever to write.

So now I'm back, and I've had some pretty big revelations that I've come across in these past few weeks. Whether they are worth anything still remains to be seen, but so far I can tell that I've been a happier person lately. There might be a correlation, there might not be. But as long as you're happy, well, who gives a shit.

I promise to be back more with some stories of weddings, CHAMPAIGN, and of course, burritos.

Go Cubs.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW

So after many months of screwing around and debating whether or not I was going to start a blog, I went ahead and did so. After countless ideas going through my head on what I should post here in the, the only item that comes to mind is "Damn, this is more work than I wanted to take on." Not exactly the rock solid start we were looking for; but we're up and running anyway.

But alas, my dear friends, I can assure you we're going to have many great times together. You'll laugh at my hilairity and IN YOUR FACE EXTREME style of blogging. You'll become endeared to my very rational and totally justified hatred of all things associated with the state of Indiana. I will learn to possibly even care about what others think, even though I hate you all and you're nowhere near as awesome as I am. We're going to have some fun together, you and I. So sit back, buckle up, take note of the emergency exits, grab a couple of cold ones, and let's get going.