December 10, 2008


I know I've never brought up politics with you, my 3 readers, but today is an exception. In case you haven't heard, Illinois' very own Rod "Governor Smith" Bagojevich got in a little bit of trouble yesterday. I'll spare you all the details since you all know the story, and instead I'll ask this one question of the Governor:

Are you fucking stupid?

After growing up here and living my entire life in this state, I'm quite familiar with "Chicago Politics" which is apparently our own special way of doing things. Honestly, I thought that is how all government works. I learned about this with several discussions with my parents and from the greatest teacher ever, Mr. Harry Daley. He was an avid Chicago historian (more on him later). It was a constant problem, but something you eventually got used to; much like rats in the city. They are everywhere, you're disgusted by them, but until one is sniffing your feat you ignore them. The reason for this? Well, we always felt that as long as things are getting done, we were willing to look the other way.

But as with all things, there are limits. In this case, there was such total disregard for the law and such brazen arrogance that these limits are deemed completely irrelevant. Even when Gov. Blagojevich knew that he was under investigation, he still managed to act as if he were immune to any consequences. I think I speak for everyone when I say it is this attitude that upsets me more than the actual corruption. Did he want to get caught? Did he really think as the Governor of Illinois that he would be able to wield enough power to wipe everything under the rug?

To kind of put things in perspective, I'm going to provide a little anectdote for you. When I was younger, I was not exactly the little angel that many thought I was. Most of the time I was pretty good, but every now and then I had this propensity to find some trouble. Well, when I did manage to find trouble, my father was so kind as to help a wooden spoon find its way to my posterior. (The pain from that spoon is not one I'll soon forget. I still shutter when I hear those doors under the sink open and close. ) The only good thing that from these beatings is after that moment that I would never repeat that mistake to put me in that position. Or at the bare minimum I would make sure I did not get caught. And if I didn't get caught, I certainly would not call people and tell them about it while my dad was in the room.

Many people I know can testify that I am not super bright. So if I can figure out this little don't do it again lesson, it's got to take someone who either: 1) has such low mental function they should be wearing a helmet, or 2) doesn't care anyway. Either way, they shouldn't have been running for public office, let alone getting voted into public office. But hey, as we've found out, in Illinois the right price can get you a lot of things.

December 04, 2008

Turkeypalooza - Totaly Awesome

I just wanted to take this chance to thank everyone who made it to Turkeypalooza IV: No FU(#!NG Around. As those of you who came can testify, it was totally boss as we managed to deep fry everything AND watch the Illini win another game. We had are usual suspects from Turkeypalooza past, as well as many new faces. We gladly accept our new Turkeypalooza family with open arms and clogged arteries.

But this party would not have been possible without a few very important people.

Drew was the host of this years party, and he did an absolutely gracious thing by letting tons of people come over and trash his place. Anyone who has thrown a party knows of the amount of effort required to get everything ready and open up your home to tons of people you may or may not know very well. Drew's place has become the ultimate party home. For those who have heard me say "Hey, we ordered the Sunday Ticket package for NFL games at my buddy's place, come on by" that is Drew's place. We effectively turned his house into Sunday Funday headquarters. So on top of him playing host every Sunday of the football season, he was super excited to host Turkeypalooza; an ordeal bigger than the Super Bowl. Not only did he host it, he also cleaned up everything before the rest of us had a chance to even contribute. The biggest party of the year would not have been possible without you. High Fives.

Secondly, there was my numero uno Jackie. You see, a turkey fryer (also known as 4 gallons of boiling peanut oil over an open flame tied to a propane tank) requires non stop attention. And at a party thrown by 4 drunk dudes with a fryer as the focus point, you can't really expect too much. To have a successful culinary party, you need to set up the table in both a logical and aesthetically pleasing fashion. Such a daunting task requires a true hostess' touch. Jackie is that amazing hostess. People would not have been able to eat without you. High Fives.

Lastly, I must thank my good friend Pabst Blue Ribbon. As always, you were cool, clean, refreshing, and your intoxicating deliciousness made everything so great. I would not have had a terrible headache the next day without you. High Fives.

So there you go. But more importantly, now we enter the other season in my two season life - Talladega. April 26th you cannot come fast enough.