Oh Yes

Opening day means only one thing - another opportunity for me to begin another potentially futile effort at managing a fantasy team. 

But this is my year!

iLove iMac

For my good friend Lindsay, who was the first person who said that Macs were superior to a PC in every way....

you are right. I don't even know what I'm doing and I like it. 

Bacon Explosion

So we made it. How was it? Well, honestly, it was....different. I'll never come out and say something has too much bacon, but let's just say this was a LOT of meat. I think grilling it instead of having a slow cooker kind of hurt the end result. Or maybe it was the fact we were too lazy to break up all of the ground Italian Sausage. Either way, we did it, and we all managed to live to tell the tale.

All meatiness aside, BBQ bacon is fantastic. I think I will be smothering it in the delicious spicy condiment much more often in the future.

I <3>

3rd Annual Super Sunday Funday Extravaganza Tent A Thon Event

The big day is finally here. Anyone that has even sat in the same room as a computer has heard about the gluttonous heart busting Bacon Explosion. Well, in the fine tradition of Turkeypalooza, Bacon Ballz, and not wanting to live beyond 30 years of age, we have decided to prepare this fine delicacy this afternoon. (There will be a full update and report from post op after my quadruple bypass tomorrow) But in the meantime, hey, let's watch football!

Steelers 34 Cardinals 30.

Super Monday

SUPERBOWL WEEK!

What is the attraction of the Super Bowl? Underdog stories? Gratuitous nudity? Great halftime shows? No, these are nice but those are too detailed. When you step back from this game and the rest of all NFL games, it's the mother of all Sunday Fundays. You wake up early, start drinking early, flip back and forth between the pregame analysis on any of the channels and the NFL Films all day marathon of every previous Super Bowl. You get to eat all of the snack foods that you enjoy so much; lil' smokies, sausage and peppers, the whole gamut of dips and chips, and many more meat and cheese covered products.

I'm going against my better Cubs judgment as rooting for the Chicago St. Louis Arizona Cardinals. How can you not root for the underdog? Feel good story set aside, I do have some logical (at least guy logic) reasons for rooting for them. First and foremost, Larry Fitzgerald was very good to me in Fantasy Football this year; showing some love is the least I can do. Secondly, as a Detroit Lions fan, if the Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals can get to the Superbowl, then we have to have a chance of winning 5, maybe 6 games next year.

Go Football!

Happy New Year!

2008, you sucked. (Well, not entirely. As a devoted Illini fan there is no conceivable way that I could say any year involving a trip to the Rose Bowl is anything short of awesome. ) But one thing I've never understood is the concept of a New Years resolution. I mean, if you know of something that you'd like to change about yourself to make yourself a better and happier person, why wait until once a year to make amends? With that said, I've got a few things that I am resolving to take care of in the new year:

1) Getting better at poker. I am really going to try to practice this year so I'm no longer the laughingstock of the Foster Tuesday Night Poker Club. This is going to happen. You just wait.

2) Read more. I'm almost done with one book (Freakonomics, which I embarrassingly admit I have not read yet.) There are many books that I've had on the proverbial "To Read" list, and this year I vow to get to them. I will even chronicle them here with reviews and such. Interactive!

3) GYM! This is every one's goal, but the whole marathon thing was rather intoxicating. So this year we've got the Shamrock Shuffle, the Sprint Triathlon, and the Half Marathon on the docket. Call me Forrest, but I like running.

4) PHISH CONCERTS. I'm going to them. Sounds strange, but if you've been to one, you'd understand.

5) Be a little more consistent with the whole blogging thing. I'm just too lazy to do a lazy man's job, but this is going to change. I'm taking my laziness to the next level and entering the draft.

So there you go. Hypocrisy and and useless information about me all in one post.

PS - Tedd Sucks.

FAIL!

I know I've never brought up politics with you, my 3 readers, but today is an exception. In case you haven't heard, Illinois' very own Rod "Governor Smith" Bagojevich got in a little bit of trouble yesterday. I'll spare you all the details since you all know the story, and instead I'll ask this one question of the Governor:

Are you fucking stupid?

After growing up here and living my entire life in this state, I'm quite familiar with "Chicago Politics" which is apparently our own special way of doing things. Honestly, I thought that is how all government works. I learned about this with several discussions with my parents and from the greatest teacher ever, Mr. Harry Daley. He was an avid Chicago historian (more on him later). It was a constant problem, but something you eventually got used to; much like rats in the city. They are everywhere, you're disgusted by them, but until one is sniffing your feat you ignore them. The reason for this? Well, we always felt that as long as things are getting done, we were willing to look the other way.

But as with all things, there are limits. In this case, there was such total disregard for the law and such brazen arrogance that these limits are deemed completely irrelevant. Even when Gov. Blagojevich knew that he was under investigation, he still managed to act as if he were immune to any consequences. I think I speak for everyone when I say it is this attitude that upsets me more than the actual corruption. Did he want to get caught? Did he really think as the Governor of Illinois that he would be able to wield enough power to wipe everything under the rug?

To kind of put things in perspective, I'm going to provide a little anectdote for you. When I was younger, I was not exactly the little angel that many thought I was. Most of the time I was pretty good, but every now and then I had this propensity to find some trouble. Well, when I did manage to find trouble, my father was so kind as to help a wooden spoon find its way to my posterior. (The pain from that spoon is not one I'll soon forget. I still shutter when I hear those doors under the sink open and close. ) The only good thing that from these beatings is after that moment that I would never repeat that mistake to put me in that position. Or at the bare minimum I would make sure I did not get caught. And if I didn't get caught, I certainly would not call people and tell them about it while my dad was in the room.

Many people I know can testify that I am not super bright. So if I can figure out this little don't do it again lesson, it's got to take someone who either: 1) has such low mental function they should be wearing a helmet, or 2) doesn't care anyway. Either way, they shouldn't have been running for public office, let alone getting voted into public office. But hey, as we've found out, in Illinois the right price can get you a lot of things.

Turkeypalooza - Totaly Awesome

I just wanted to take this chance to thank everyone who made it to Turkeypalooza IV: No FU(#!NG Around. As those of you who came can testify, it was totally boss as we managed to deep fry everything AND watch the Illini win another game. We had are usual suspects from Turkeypalooza past, as well as many new faces. We gladly accept our new Turkeypalooza family with open arms and clogged arteries.

But this party would not have been possible without a few very important people.

Drew was the host of this years party, and he did an absolutely gracious thing by letting tons of people come over and trash his place. Anyone who has thrown a party knows of the amount of effort required to get everything ready and open up your home to tons of people you may or may not know very well. Drew's place has become the ultimate party home. For those who have heard me say "Hey, we ordered the Sunday Ticket package for NFL games at my buddy's place, come on by" that is Drew's place. We effectively turned his house into Sunday Funday headquarters. So on top of him playing host every Sunday of the football season, he was super excited to host Turkeypalooza; an ordeal bigger than the Super Bowl. Not only did he host it, he also cleaned up everything before the rest of us had a chance to even contribute. The biggest party of the year would not have been possible without you. High Fives.

Secondly, there was my numero uno Jackie. You see, a turkey fryer (also known as 4 gallons of boiling peanut oil over an open flame tied to a propane tank) requires non stop attention. And at a party thrown by 4 drunk dudes with a fryer as the focus point, you can't really expect too much. To have a successful culinary party, you need to set up the table in both a logical and aesthetically pleasing fashion. Such a daunting task requires a true hostess' touch. Jackie is that amazing hostess. People would not have been able to eat without you. High Fives.

Lastly, I must thank my good friend Pabst Blue Ribbon. As always, you were cool, clean, refreshing, and your intoxicating deliciousness made everything so great. I would not have had a terrible headache the next day without you. High Fives.

So there you go. But more importantly, now we enter the other season in my two season life - Talladega. April 26th you cannot come fast enough.

Turkeypalooza IV

Drew and I needed to go grocery shopping after work for the world's greatest party: Turkeypalooza IV: No Fu(#!ng Around. To give you an idea of how awesome this party really is, here is what we acquired this evening:

44 lbs of Turkey
4 bags of stuffing
10 lbs of potatoes
1 box of bisquick
4 tubes of crescent rolls
4 packages of lil smokies
64 rolls
420 napkins
2 jars of pickles
12 egg

And that is just the first grocery run.

Now, for those of you who don't know, it's time I sit you down and tell you the story of Turkeypalooza. It all started many years ago in a land far, far away: Champaign. It was the last game of the football season, and Illinois was playing Northwestern on Thanksgiving Day in 2001 with a Big Ten Title on the line. As members of the Marching Illini, us beloved bandos were required to be in town for the game (and for those who know me, I would have been there anyway). Well, several of us got this great idea that we should cook dinner for our parents at the beloved 1004 W. Nevada, also known as the Trombone House. We acquired groceries, a turkey, and did all the things that our mothers and grandmothers had always done for Thanksgiving dinner.

I'll never forget Tedd, Jon Hakes, Susan, and myself working on things in the kitchen with our respective mothers standing in the doorway watching. They were all commenting to each other on our techniques and recipes, and how they wouldn't be caught dead doing it the way we were. I've never seen 5 mothers standing so desperate to get into a kitchen in my life. Remember, we're still in college so macaroni and cheese and cereal are pretty much the limits of our culinary ability, so their critiquing glares weren't exactly helping our already shaky nerves. Fortunately for us and our intestinal tracts, the dinner turned out to be a smashing success and everything went off smoothly.

So Tedd and I started thinking to ourselves - why don't we do this for our friends? And get loaded. And deep fry the turkey. Well, turn the clock forward to 2004 when we finally got the down to business and had Turkeypalooza I. No catchy title was necessary because we had a deep fryer and a keg. We had everything ready, except a plan. We started drinking at 10 am, and when everyone showed up at 3, we realized the only thing we managed to accomplish was get loaded. We were saved by some ladies who knew their way around the kitchen better than we did (not much had changed since college). But, most importantly, it was good. Really really good. So good, we needed another one: Turkeypalooza II: The Revenge. And then Turkeypalooza III: This Time We're Serious.

Which brings us to where we are today. It's Saturday, and it's going to be totally kick ass. No Fu(#!ng Around.

Thanksgiving Savings

Thanksgiving is about two things: Turkey and getting a head start on the holiday shopping season.

Am I the only one that things this is kind of a strange thing? It's a little disappointing to me that our society has become so commercialized that Thanksgiving is looked at as a jump on holiday shopping almost equally, if not more so, than the actually celebration of the holiday. Personally, I try to avoid the Black Friday sales as much as possible. Not because I don't like savings, but because the crowds are just too much. I've been able to get up at 4 am for a select number of things, and saving an additional 5% on gifts for people is not really one of them. Besides, I think the retailers are so desperate to have my money that they will be offering such deals almost all the way through the season.