Turkeypalooza IV

Drew and I needed to go grocery shopping after work for the world's greatest party: Turkeypalooza IV: No Fu(#!ng Around. To give you an idea of how awesome this party really is, here is what we acquired this evening:

44 lbs of Turkey
4 bags of stuffing
10 lbs of potatoes
1 box of bisquick
4 tubes of crescent rolls
4 packages of lil smokies
64 rolls
420 napkins
2 jars of pickles
12 egg

And that is just the first grocery run.

Now, for those of you who don't know, it's time I sit you down and tell you the story of Turkeypalooza. It all started many years ago in a land far, far away: Champaign. It was the last game of the football season, and Illinois was playing Northwestern on Thanksgiving Day in 2001 with a Big Ten Title on the line. As members of the Marching Illini, us beloved bandos were required to be in town for the game (and for those who know me, I would have been there anyway). Well, several of us got this great idea that we should cook dinner for our parents at the beloved 1004 W. Nevada, also known as the Trombone House. We acquired groceries, a turkey, and did all the things that our mothers and grandmothers had always done for Thanksgiving dinner.

I'll never forget Tedd, Jon Hakes, Susan, and myself working on things in the kitchen with our respective mothers standing in the doorway watching. They were all commenting to each other on our techniques and recipes, and how they wouldn't be caught dead doing it the way we were. I've never seen 5 mothers standing so desperate to get into a kitchen in my life. Remember, we're still in college so macaroni and cheese and cereal are pretty much the limits of our culinary ability, so their critiquing glares weren't exactly helping our already shaky nerves. Fortunately for us and our intestinal tracts, the dinner turned out to be a smashing success and everything went off smoothly.

So Tedd and I started thinking to ourselves - why don't we do this for our friends? And get loaded. And deep fry the turkey. Well, turn the clock forward to 2004 when we finally got the down to business and had Turkeypalooza I. No catchy title was necessary because we had a deep fryer and a keg. We had everything ready, except a plan. We started drinking at 10 am, and when everyone showed up at 3, we realized the only thing we managed to accomplish was get loaded. We were saved by some ladies who knew their way around the kitchen better than we did (not much had changed since college). But, most importantly, it was good. Really really good. So good, we needed another one: Turkeypalooza II: The Revenge. And then Turkeypalooza III: This Time We're Serious.

Which brings us to where we are today. It's Saturday, and it's going to be totally kick ass. No Fu(#!ng Around.